MLB Promises Next Season Will Be Even More Predictable | The Onion

There are two really hilarious articles up over at The Onion, both about America's aging, bromidic pasttime. The first one is an open apology from Major League Baseball commisioner Bud Selig to fans due to the MLB's inability to provide a baseball season that adheres, much like feces to Velcro, to "the standard old formula that has kept fans complacent with the national pastime for the past several years." It is true satirical rhetoric that any alienated baseball fan will take to heart. Here's a great clip:

Selig promised another 90-loss season for the Detroit Tigers, an ALCS that pits the universally known Yankees versus the universally known Red Sox, and the 15th consecutive NL East division crown for the Atlanta Braves.

'Angels first place, A's second place, Rangers third place, Mariners last place,' Selig said. 'Sound familiar yet? If not, get used to it, as that will be your AL West for the next 20 or so years.'"

The second article is a short quip about Fox cancelling its new three-hour drama/comedy ALCS. The article hilariously closes out:

Fox remains optimistic about its other fledgling program, NLCS, but critics say the series has "very little chance" of making it past seven episodes."

Ha!