Friday, September 30, 2005

Holding out hope for X-Men 3

Like a blind lemming walking feverishly to its death, or a penguin marching 70 miles for bad sex, I wait, day in and day out, for news that X-Men 3, the third installment in Marvel's mutant conglomerate, is not, in fact, going to suck hard.

For those of you who are less-than-up on your X-Men propaganda, the writer/producer/director/God behind the brilliant first 2 movies, Bryan Singer, abandoned the franchise (or did the franchise abandon him?) in favor of something a little more super (as people of his persuasion may say). At any rate, X-Men 3 has been in a tailspin since his departure, and, thus far, all signs have pointed to the proverbial omen of death for a once tent-pole franchise. I half expect to see Wolverine come face-to-face with a Grim.

In spite of all of the bad news, I still have faith. Every so often, someone involved with the film says something smart, and it fills me with what can only be deemed unbridled jubilation. Recently, Zak Penn, writer of X-Men 3 did an interview with Wizard Magazine. He had this to say:
You can't write what's in the comics. You can't say those kinds of lines on screen. When [Jean Grey] turns into Phoenix, you have to maintain the heightened reality of it without becoming silly."
and
We can't do the Sh'iar Empire and battle cruiser and other galaxies [from the Phoenix saga] in this movie. It's not just that we can't afford to do it, but it would not fit with the tone of the first two movies in any way."

This really makes me happy because he is exactly right. Phoenix's lines in the comics would sound absolutely asinine if actually discharged verbally. Her ejaculations inspire laughter at a rate similar to that if she had actually said "ejaculate" to a room full of 14-year olds.

Also, he is right again about the Shi'ar Empire. The cost to recreate this world would no doubt push the X-Men 3 budget into new stratospheres (the X-Men franchise is also notorious for being surprisingly underfunded). Also, including it would turn the relatively down-to-earth tone of X-Men into a more Star Wars-like space-opera. I don't think anyone really wants to see that. Its good to see someone understanding that movies are not comics, and comics are not movies. Unless it is Sin City, naturally.

Until May 26th, 2006, I guess I will have to just hold out hope. Then we'll know. For the rest of the interview, Click Here.


New Gmail Features!

New to Google Gmail as of today:
read more | digg story


IGN: Serenity's Future: Movies or TV?


As with most things in Hollywood, it all comes down to money....

If the story continues, Whedon doesn't know what form it would take. Television is really the ideal medium for his style of storytelling, but it takes a lot more control out of his hands and puts it in the hands of executives, a lesson he learned only too well the first time. Says Whedon,
I love TV. It's a totally different mode of storytelling. It's rich and textured in a way that movies never will be. It's absolutely glorious, but it's a hard, hard business and I felt unwelcome in the landscape on TV."

Click here for more.


Thursday, September 29, 2005

Bidder Buys PSP Box on eBay for $200

A lesson: Read the actual description of the auction before bidding on a PSP.

read more | digg story


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Anonymity: "No Memories"


Many of you who read (or have found your way to) this blog likely do not know that I was in a band in Middle and High School. We went through many names (Absolut Zero was our first), but I eventually decided on Anonymity and then left the band a few weeks later due to creative differences (if there is such a thing when you are 15 years old).

I was the so-called writer of songs in said band and took my songs with me when I left. Upon a recent scavenging of old Word Perfect documents, I happened across the lyrics to what I believe to be one of my greatest songs (not likely saying much), but I felt compelled to post them here so that, though the song may never be played again, the message may still get out there.

The following ballad is about the pervasive fear that fading memories will one day become no memories at all. Enjoy. It's a tad repetitive, but if I recall, I did that on purpose to drive the point. Also, I didn't proof read much, so this is 8th grade grammar and such. Criticism welcome.


No Memories
Meyers | Alascio

Rain on the window
Tears in my eyes
Everywhere this feeling
Yes, it came as a surprise
There was no help at all
With that thorn in your side
Not waking up
Where were you Christ?

Lay there, so peacefully
In your forever bed
Right here / Do you feel me
Stroking your head?
You would always be here
Yes that's what you said
Now just lay there, so peacefully
In your forever bed

Now this day has come
To early in life
Now there's one last question
But why ask why?
No, no help at all
With that thorn in your side
Oh yes / this day has come
too early in your life

No Memories
They were there / now they're gone
No Memories / anymore
Ever so slowly / your image it fades
And it's getting harder / to make it stay
No don't go away

Yes there's rain on the window
and tears in my eyes
you're everywhere, this feeling
I didn't want this surprise
And there was no help at all
With this thorn in your side
No waking up
Where were you Christ?

No Memories
They were there / now they're gone
No Memories / anymore

My pen glides this paper / in memory of you
Oh joyous life / and everything you knew
And all these people / that you left behind
Cannot save your picture / as it unsketches from my mind

Ever so slowly / your image it fades
And it's getting harder / to make it stay
No don't go away

Lay there, so peacefully
In your forever bed
Right here / Do you feel me
stroking your head?
You would always be here
Yes that's what you said
Now just lay there, so peacefully
In your forever bed

Now this day has come
Too early in life
Now there's one last question
But why ask why
No, no help at all
With that thorn in your side
Oh yes, this day has come
Too early in your life

No Memories
They were there / now they're gone
No Memories / anymore

My pen glides this paper / in memory of you
Oh joyous life / and everything you knew
And all these people / that you left behind
Cannot save your picture / as it unsketches from my mind

Ever so slowly / your image it fades
And it's getting harder / to make it stay
No don't go away

Rain on the window
Tears in my eyes
Everywhere this feeling
Yes it came as a surprise
No help at all
With that thorn in your side
Not waking up
Where were you Christ?


Sunday, September 25, 2005

Windows Is Offically Broken

Windows is broken and Microsoft has admitted it. In an unprecedented attempt to explain its Longhorn problems and how it abandoned its traditional way of working, the normally secretive software giant has given unparalleled access to The Wall Street Journal, even revealing how Vice President Jim Allchin, personally broke the bad news to Bill Gates.

read more | digg story


Wednesday, September 21, 2005

This is how tired I feel

I wish I could sleep this well. Zack has recently discovered that he is cute and can make people laugh. It is quite entertaining to watch. He'll just be walking around minding his own business when it will occur to him that he is being watched, at which point he will turn and face his onlooker and proceed to make the silliest face I have ever seen another human being make. If I get a picture of it in action, you can be sure it will find its way here.

P.S. Paul Schafer is playing a Schism by Tool on Letterman. It's really weird.


Google is taking over the world. In a good way.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Google is taking over the world better than Microsoft ever imagined. For months now, Google has been secretly buying up unused cabling that lines our yards and neighborhood skylines. The question everyone has been asking is why?. Now we know:

Google, the online search leader, confirmed on Tuesday it has begun a limited test of a free wireless Internet service, called Google WiFi.

They are BETA testing the service in San Fransico, and plan to unlease free wireless internet upon the world. This has got to be making a lot of people mad. Not real people of course, like you and me; people such as Comcast, Verizon, Microsoft, and, who could forget, our own Government.

read more | digg story


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

This sh1t is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I hope you don't put bananas on your cereal because it looks like bananas are going the way of the dinosaur. This isn't the first time, however, because apparently the main variety of bananas died in the early 20th century, and we were forced to replace it with the bananas we are familiar with today. Now it looks like they too are facing extinction. Says the article,
After 15,000 years of human cultivation, the banana is too perfect, lacking the genetic diversity that is key to species health."

At the time of posting, the Bananas in Pajamas were not available for comment.


Fort Minor

Have you heard about Fort Minor yet? I'm guessing it is likely that you have not; I just did. If you are perceptive in the ways of art, perhaps you have noticed a likeness between the Fort Minor logo to the left and the now famous logo for a little multi-platinum band named Linkin Park. There is a reason for this.

Fort Minor is the side project of Linkin Park emcee Mike Shinoda. He's the often overlooked rapper running around behind Chester Bennington's insane stage antics and wailing vocals. What many people do not realize is that Shinoda's contributions to the band are far greater than simply adding the hip-hop flaver to Linkin Park's sound; he is often the lone majority writer for many of their songs. In short, he is the musical genius that makes Linkin Park what it is.

But, unfortunately for a person like Shinoda, he has found himself confined by the sound that he played such an integral part in creating. Apparently, of late, he has been in need of an outlet of his true love: Hip-hop.

From the Fort Minor website:
The Rising Tied, the much-anticipated debut of Shinoda's Fort Minor, will be released by Machine Shop Recordings/Warner Bros., in Fall 2005. Executive Produced by Jay-Z (who collaborated with Linkin Park on 2004's Collision Course), The Rising Tied is produced and mixed by Shinoda, who wrote every track, played nearly every instrument and "slaved over every detail."

Stop by the website for more details on the November 22nd release, The Rising Tied. A few tracks are available to sample as well.


Monday, September 19, 2005

"This is a different kind of fuzzy, Pop Pop"

My nephew Zachary took his first trip to a petting zoo with my father and step-mother last weekend. This is him looking curious and discovering there is a different kind of fuzzy than the ones with which he is familiar: his doggy, Luke, and of course, my face.


Sunday, September 18, 2005

For your viewing pleasure

These are the shows that I'm currently watching, and, because my opinions are what truly matters, obviously, you all should watch them too.


Let's start with the greatest single sitcom I have ever seen: Coupling. You want to know why it is the greatest? It doesn't come from the United States (well, NBC tried to bring it to the U.S when they knew that Friends was soon ending and a replacement was needed. If you've seen it, I'm sorry. It only lasted 4 episodes). This British look at relationships and sex is not toned down to meet FCC standards. Its real. Its what real people would actually say (with the exception of British slang; obviously, terms like Snog can't possibly be real - can they?). And you know what? Deep breath now.

It is funny. Really funny.

Wake up people who are sleeping within close proximaty of you funny.

And I don't mean American-sitcom funny where you laugh to yourself in short, expelled breaths, in a way, humoring those who are supposed to be humoring you. I find myself doing that more and more when I watch shows that are supposed to be funny now (except Two and a Half Men. That kid is hilarious). For a quick glance at its greatness, view the quotes at IMDB, or watch it on ON Demand Comcast Digital Cable under Cable Favorites/BBC America. If you like it, buy the DVDs. Only then will you understand how very sad it is that Jeff is a man of too many legs and not enough languages. Poor chap.



This second show I happened across because it is on ABC Family every day when I get home from work (having left my TV on ABC family the night before watching Full House. Those of you who know me are not surprised by this). I've got to say, in spite of my ongoing love affair with Marvel Comics, that I have found a new love for Clark Kent. Not Superman. Teenage, shy and crushing-hard, Clark Kent. Yes, Smallville has stolen my comic related imagination lately. Its basically the OC with less lesbians and more kids with super-powers, but its also much more.

Its very intelligently written. In every episode, the foreshadowing of events and mythology that everyone already knows is enough to make you sit there and say to yourself "If they only knew". When Lex Luthor turns away from Clark and says "Relationships founded on deceit and lies are destined to crumble," he may, in context, be referring to his relationship with his father, but the writers' intention in a statement like that is unequivocally clear. Michael Rosenbaum as Alexander Luthor really steals the show as a young man doing everything he can to carve out his own destiny. Its almost like what the prequel Star Wars trilogy should have been. We know this guy is going to be bad, evil even. He is doing his damnedest to do good, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

My only problem with Smallville is that I have only made it through Season 1, and Season 5 starts in two weeks.



Finally, I have to make mention of Firefly. This is a show that was on FOX, I believe, about 2 years ago. It was cancelled because, as many of us are keenly aware, FOX has a problem of not knowing what they have until after they cancel it. Firefly is the first television series who's sales on DVD have forced a movie out to continue it (this would be Serenity, due out 9/30). The world of Firefly can only be described as a Space-Opera-Western (I know. Stay with me now).

The show follows the crew of this Firefly-Class space ship, named Serenity (Oh! Now I get it!), as they try to earn a (dis)honest living, smuggling whatever needs to be smuggled, just to remain independent of the "Alliance." They fly around in space in their ship that is falling apart; they land on backwater planets to secure goods to transport; they run from the Alliance. That is about it. There are horses, guns with bullets (not lasers), bar fights, and whores (or companion as called in the show - a very classy job apparently). But what is it that makes this show so special?

In a word: family.

The crew of Serenity is a family. Not "birthed by the same mother" family. Not bloodlines. This is an "I would die to protect you" family. And you can imagine how disfunctional they are being isolated in that space ship in the middle of nowhere for weeks at a time, running from the law. The sense of family I get from the crew of this ship is more touching and more real to me than anything in any show that I've seen in a long time.

Oh, and not to mention that this show is Joss Whedon's love child. The show is flawlessly written, arched and acted. Do not miss this gem. Its in reruns on SciFi Fridays at 7, but its a DVD set everyone should own. I know I will.


Saturday, September 17, 2005

Of bad television and bad internet

An eventful few days to be sure. Finally got out of the house for the first time in what seems like months. Friday at Fridays was fun.

Before we start, anyone typed into Google lately? It's amusing.

So it looks like, once again, rumors of Pierce Brosnan's return as 007 were a bit premature. Now looks like Daniel Craig is in. I don't even care anymore at this point. I just want my movie.

Also, my videogame prayers were answered. Nintendo has, once again, seen the forest for the trees (anyone know that means?), and completely revolutionized the way we will play games. My words will not do this thing justice, so if you are mildly interested, go read about it. Pick a news website - it is everywhere. It's that big of a deal.

Another big change in the world of technology and gaming is the recent change of guard at G4. There is now hope that G4 will stop being the worst television programming this side of MTV; Charles Hirschhorn, Founder and CEO of G4, has quietly been replaced. For those of you who weren't privy to G4's hostile takeover of TechTV, I will paint a picture. Imagine washed-up Fat Actress Kirstie Alley being jealous of Jennfier Anniston's popularity. So, because of her appetite for the spotlight, she shaves Jen's head to make a wig with her hair, and then eats her to hide the evidence. It was that ugly. It seems that Comcast (owner of G4 and TechTV) is beginning to get wise to the fact that their audience is not the prepubescent MTV generation to whom they are trying to cater. We can see past the poor production values, unfounded and adulterated celebrity endorsements, and rampant product placement. I think Kathy said it best:
"A half hour of videogame cut scenes set to music is not good television."
- and neither is having a horrible indie punk band perform on the ashes of a one-time technology television staple. Do you hear me Attack of the Show? You suck. You have no redeeming qualities and are not even a shadow of what you once were. You should retire to Baltimore Street where your sucking can be appreciated.

Moving on, it appears that Time Warner is starting to wonder about AOL remaining profitable, what with its recent litigations and the rise of broadband internet; AOL's subscribers are roughly falling by 20 year now. It seems people are generally getting wise to the lies propagated by AOL since its inception. Oddly enough, Microsoft appears to be the most interested buyer, hoping to either combine MSN and AOL into one entirely ghastly internet service, or to steal away AOL's loyalty to Google; apparently AOL is responsible for 110 million Google site visits a month and is Google's single largest source of income. With Microsoft's recent fear that Google is taking over the world better than they are, this is most certainly a dastardly business maneuver.

I also met Tycho and Gabe today at the Baltimore Comic Convention. It was a very surreal experience, as no two people have gotten more laughs out of me in recent memory. If you don't read their work, you should. They have something for everybody, but their pervasive theme is with regard to videogames.

And has anyone else noticed that Amber MacArthur says "for sure" a lot? She might be my new Morgan Webb. I still heart Morgan though.

Finally, I love this toaster. If I could only buy the syrupy, pancakey goodness used to sandwich McGriddles, I would never have to go to McDonald's again.


Thursday, September 15, 2005

Para Sonreír

Despite my recently diagnosed ailments and some annoyances at work, I've got to say that today I feel like smiling, for reasons both personal and worldly.

First and foremost, Kentucky's newest and most beautiful resident graced me with her presence last night (however simplistic in nature it may have been), as well as with some great and memorable photos. It is amazing what simply seeing her words on my screen has done for the melancholic incompleteness bestowed in my heart upon her recent departure.

Additionally, I patched up some animosity with one of my oldest and dearest friends. Things may not be perfect, but the road to recovery is well at hand.

In other news unrelated to myself, it looks as if Pierce Brosnan is, after a tumultuous year of cat and mouse, looking to reprise his venerated role as Ian Fleming's Special Agent 007, James Bond. This is tear-inducing news to anyone who has seen the capricious list of possible replacements that has been circling since news of Brosnan's departure was announced. Arguably the best Bond since Sir Sean Connery, Brosnan would be a welcome (re)addition to the forthcoming entry into the series, Casino Royale. A rant regarding Casino Royale will likely appear in the blog soon.

And finally, today is (hopefully) a revolutionary day for Nintendo fans, for videogame fans. At approximately 10pm this evening (11am tomorrow Japan time), Nintendo CEO Satura Iwata will take the stage at the annual Tokyo Game Show to give his keynote speech, where it is expected that he will shed light on Nintendo's mysterious new controller. This controller is said to bring about a much needed revolution in the world of videogames. If Nintendo fails to deliver on this promise, it is likely the videogame market will crash harder than a recent NASA endeavor into a brick wall in terms of innovation, destined to suffer perennial releases of the same Grand Theft Auto and Madden games we've seen year in and year out for years.


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Monkeys could do it better


I think it is quite evident that Microsoft is going absolutely insane .

First, the emoticon :-(
Great. Now I owe Microsoft restitution for using their so-called invention. Why not tackle ASCII art while you are at it? Finger painting? Or the innate and instinctual tendency for one to raise one's cheeks toward the heavens to show pleasure or happiness? Let's turn my infant nephews into patent law violators. Sounds like a plan to me.

Second, the double click: a computing staple for nearly 20 years. Why not try to renew a patent on the vaccuum tube?

Now, and I am keenly aware that some of you may or may not be in the know, as it were, despite common business sense would lend to its consideration, Microsoft is preparing a new version of Windows (named VISTA, for your own edifcation) and a necessary new version of Office (version 12).

Ok, I lied. Twice. (1) Microsoft is preparing SEVEN new versions of Windows (Minimum requirement 1-2GB of memory) because there is no better type of consumer than a confused one, obviously, and (2) They are raping the tried and true Office interface that we've come to know and love over the past decade, seemingly, just for the hell of it. Goodbye dear Edit menu, I hardly knew thee.

Ancient Chinese Proverb says: If it ain't broke, don't fix it

Ok perhaps that isn't Chinese, but it is proverbial.


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

iPod nanos proof of Intelligent Design?

I want an iPod nano. I have no use for one; I already own an iPod that holds 5 times as many songs. But, as are most things Apple, it is just so damn sexy. Yes I called a piece of technology sexy, but this time it applies. I know you don't care, but I do.

In other news, I just completed a lovely 13 hour day of work. Tomorrow the software that I am responsible for will begin the "release process" (a process that is far more convoluted than I'm sure you wish to read) Rest assurred, however, that my life over the next week will be akin to watching a Lifetime movie you have to do a paper on, a seemingly neverending series of mundane and random events of which you must somehow, by the grace of whatever Intelligent Designer disconcerts you the most, make sense. Wish me luck.


Monday, September 12, 2005

A Window's Haiku

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.


Sunday, September 11, 2005

My Links

Check out digg. Its a social bookmarking community. Here's my page

http://www.digg.com/users/fifthturtle48

and while we are at it:

Get Google Talk so I don't have to use AIM anymore. AIM is getting too bloated with annoying video advertisements and icons and junk. If you'd like an invite, ask me.